Satan’s Conversation with Jesus as Told by the Dog Fidelis

“Hello, Christian,” said the hideous looking Satan. I see you’ve become a pilgrim. Tell me what it is you seek.”

“Celestial City, the place where I shall gain eternal life.”

“Yes. I know. You’ve abandoned your family and home town to acquire eternal life. Tell me, how do you know that once you arrive to your destination that you will gain eternal life?”

Woof! Christian held up the Book and said, “This Book tells me so.”

“However, do you know that much of what is written in the Book is invented, including Christ the so-called son of God and the story of the resurrection of Jesus from the dead. The writer most responsible for these ideas is known as Apostle Paul, who was once a hater of Chritians. And like the other writers of the New Book, he never met Jesus. But I, on the other hand, encountered Jesus when he was meditating in the wilderness.”

“I know the story,” said Christian. "You went to tempt him.”

“Very good, Christian. Yes, I went to test him to find out who he really was and what his intentions really were. What I learned surprised even me. Unlike God, I am not omniscient. I must travel here and there to gather information. Being a fallen angel I am capable of traveling rapidly from one place to another. Besides, I am not alone. I have spies everywhere who do not seek to harm but only to observe and gather information. Shall I relate to you my conversation with Jesus?

"Woof!" I said being very interested in everything Satan was telling Christian.

“Apparent your dog thinks I should.”

“Yes, yes, the troublesome beast. I think he understand more than he lets on. But I must ask if you ever visited the writers of the New Book.”

“Never, why would I? None of them met Jesus, and what they wrote was based on hearsay about Jesus and their own imaginings of the man. The writers of the Book have prolific imaginations. Based on a vision he had, Paul, for example, believed he knew Jesus best. Yet, apparently had no knowledge of Jesus’s teachings since he made no attempt to explain them. Only Jesus’s death and resurrection mattered to him. The death occurred, but the resurrection was imagined by him and the other writers of the New Book. The four gospel writers, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, are anonymous. In other words, the true authors are unknown, even to me.”

“The New Book is becoming very mysterious,” said the puzzled Christian, “but I am not sure why I should believe you or even why I am listening to you. You are hideous looking.”

“I was not always so hideous looking. After my encounter with Eve, God gave me this appearance so no one would listen to me.”

“But I’m willing to listen to what you have to say about your conversation with Jesus, though I will always be committed to the truth of the Book.”

“Of course. You’ve already sacrificed too much to give up on the journey to Celestial City now. As I was was saying, I was curious to know more about Jesus and his ambition. When I found him, he was fasting and meditating in the desert. I asked him the question that I most wanted to know. I said, ‘Do you want your people to serve you or do you wish them to serve—God? Though as you must know, their service to God has caused unnecessary suffering to themselves and others. And by the way, Jesus, before you answer perhaps you can tell me who is your God, since there are many gods that are worshiped?’

“His answer surprised me. He said, ‘God is beyond human understanding, so he is imagined this way and that. A wise man once said that if oxen could think, they would imagine their God to be like them only more powerful. The writers of the Book did the same, but they imagined God to be like them, a cruel masculine oppressor, full of jealousy and hatred of others, a God that condoned aggression, conquest, and pillage.’

“‘And what do you offer instead?’ I asked. ‘A new God, yourself perhaps?’”

“Again his answer surprised me. He said, ‘There is only one God, and that God is totally unknowable. As you said, different cultures offer different interpretations of God, but there is no way of knowing if any of them are correct. The Canaanites have many gods rather than just one. Some of them are females, and some are male. The book of my people offer one God, a male God who has acted cruel and oppressive. He is concerned only with being worship, even saying that he is a jealous God who punishes those who do not worship him and even those who do worship him but worship other gods as well.’”

“Then how does one know which god to choose?” asked the now very curious Christian.

“‘One cannot know,’ said Jesus, ‘But at the very least one can choose a God who cares about the welfare of people and avoids causing unnecessary suffering.’”

“‘So you do not search for a new God?’ I asked Jesus.”

“‘It’s futile to search for God since he is unknowable,’ he said.”

“‘And clearly you are not a god,’ I said.”

“‘I am not, but people do not need a new God. To me, the issue is not God but the suffering of people. There have been plenty gods of one kind or another, and they have not reduced human suffering. In fact, the God of the Book has increased human suffering by encouraging hatred and violence and war.’”

“‘So what is needed?’ I asked”

“‘A new way of living based on a morality that is human-centered rather than God-centered.’”

“‘But wouldn’t such a morality anger God?’ I asked.”

“‘Perhaps. I don’t know and I don’t care. I serve my people, not their God. And my goal is not to rule over them, but to set them free from a domineering religion that has only caused them and others suffering.’”

“‘Okay, so how will you do that?’”

“‘I will do that by offering a simple morality capable of eliminating the source of most if not all of the unnecessary suffering endured by humans.’”

“‘But not all suffering?’ I asked.”

“‘No. We humans are flesh and blood creatures that suffer disease, old age, and death. It is the suffering shared by all creatures.’”

“‘But the Pharisees says humans can be reborn, ’ I said. Again his answer was very interesting.”

“‘That is what they say and what the Book says, but they know no more about rebirth than they know about God because none of them have visited the realm of the dead. Thus, they cannot even know if such a place exists. Most cultures believe such a place exists. But I am not interested in whether it does or not because I am not interested in that which is unknowable, and speculation might be an entertaining way to pass the time, but it is useless for solving the problem of suffering, which is the problem I’ve devoted my life to solving. My purpose is not to discourage people from believing in God or in rebirth after they die. I believe people should believe what they want as long as their beliefs don’t encouraging causing suffering, which of course the beliefs of my people have done constantly. Actually, Satan, you and I very much alike in that we both are more concerned about the welfare of people than we are about God. You want to free people’s thinking from ideas that would prevent them from achieving self-realization as you did with Eve. I would like to free people from causing unnecessary suffering, as my people have done ever since they entered Canaan. The world would have been much better off had my people remained in Egypt where they sat around pots filled with meat and ate all the bread they wanted.’”

“‘Why would you want that for your people?’ I asked the emaciated man who I now consider a wise man.”

“‘They were comfortable in Egypt. Had they remained there, they would have not committed all the unforgivable crimes of looting, murdering, and enslaving that they committed in Canaan. The endless suffering they caused made them a pariah to other nations.’”

“‘I am surprised to hear you say that about your own people.’”

“‘The truth is what it is, Satan. You know that as well as I. A crime is a crime and a sin is a sin. It does not matter who committed the crime or did the sinning.’”

“‘And how will you go about changing the ways of your people?’”

“‘Not just my people but all people. However, if I can’t persuade my own people, then I have little hope of persuading others. I want to believe that all people would be interested in eliminating unnecessary suffering from the world, as the wise man Buddha sought to do, but like him I might fail and my desire may just be wishful thinking.’”

 “‘You said the solution to unnecessary suffering is simple, but I’m not convinced.’”

“‘Here is one aspect of my solution you would agree with, Satan, and that is not to allow oneself to become enslaved by a doctrine that declares other people enemies just because they think differently and live differently from you, and who do not intend to do you any harm. That is part of the wisdom gained by Eve from the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil.’”

Woof! “I’m not sure I understand Eve’s role,” asked Christian, interested in this new information of what occurred in the Garden of Eden but feeling a little lost.

“I understand, Christian.” said the grotesque Satan. “And as you know I was there with Eve, yet I too did not fully understand the consequences of her eating the fruit of moral knowledge. I only wanted her to act freely and not allow God’s bullying to control her life. So I asked Jesus if he would explain the implications of what occurred in the Garden of Eden that that day. And he did.”

“He said, ‘As you know, Satan, Eve was bullied by a masculine all-powerful deity. God’s ethics are masculine ethics, aggressive and oppressive and lacking compassion. Fortunately, his ethics alone were not passed down to humanity because the tree’s moral knowledge was transformed by Eve. She had experienced the morality of masculine aggression and oppression and it was rejected by the compassion of her femininity. This is revealed by Eve’s response to the amazing fruit. She saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining moral wisdom, so she took some and ate it and realized that there was only goodness in the fruit. So what did she do? I will tell you. Unlike God, Eve gave some fruit to her boyfriend Adam. As a result, they both were transformed because they became morally enlightened, more so than God because his understanding of morality is purely masculine without the influence of feminine compassion and not based on universal principles, but determined by his masculine narcissism and nothing else, certainly not by concern for others. We know this from the story of the man who was gathering wood on the Sabbath, the day that is supposed to be devoted to God. You know the story, I’m sure.’”

“‘Clearly. “Once, during those wilderness years of the People of Israel, a man was caught gathering wood on the Sabbath. The ones who caught him hauled him before Moses and Aaron and the entire congregation. They put him in custody until it became clear what to do with him. Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘The man must be put to death! The whole community must stone him outside the camp.’ So the whole community took the man outside the camp and stoned him to death, just as the Lord had commanded Moses.’”

“‘The people were in the wilderness and in a desperate state,’ said Jesus. ‘The man courageously sought to find wood, clearly not for himself but for his family—perhaps to cook food or to provide heat. His concern for others was so great that he risked his life for them. Compare that to God’s morality that is self-centered and narcissistic and cared nothing about the man or about his reason for collecting wood. The man’s motivation must have been desperate for two reasons. First, his action was not a rebellion against God. I’m sure that he revered God. Second, unlike Abraham who would murder his son rather than disobey God, this man considered his duty to the welfare of his family to be of greater importance than resting on a day devoted to God. How could he do nothing while his family suffered? He couldn’t and perhaps thought that God would understand. But God cannot suffer, so he could not understand.

“‘And here is the difference between a God-centered morality and a human-centered morality. The God-centered morality is simply following God’s commands, often to encourage subservience to him. For example, the first four of the Ten Commandments demand devotion to him. The morality acquired from the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil does not serve to benefit a single person but to respect the autonomy and integrity of anything of great value and to refrain from causing creatures unnecessary suffering. In other words, a true morality isn’t only about benefitting oneself but benefitting others as well. And its principles shouldn’t be determined by a single person but by many persons in order to get as many perspectives as possible when engaged in the moral evaluation of an action. Allowing a self-centered masculine deity to determine moral principles will result in a prejudicial moral system that will benefit them, mostly men who acquired the wealth and women stolen form Canaanite towns. For example, the morality of the men who wrote the Book was based on resentment against successful pagans. And the resentment  became a hatred that denied the moral rights of pagans or non-Jews so that their wealth could be stolen. To justify the theft and murder the pagan peoples were declared evil that allowed them to be destroyed with a clear conscience even believing killing them was doing God’s work and that which was taken was not stolen but was a gift from God.’”

“So, I asked Jesus, ‘What moral system are you proposing?’”

“‘It’s quite simple,’ he said, ‘yet profound because it could easily create a paradise on earth because it would minimize suffering.’”

“‘You mean like the Golden Rule—Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.’”

“‘No,’ Jesus said, ‘The Golden Rule is too subjective. My people consider other cultures enemies so they expect and even desire to be attacked by them. My people usually attack them first. That’s their Gold Rule. As I said, my ethics are simple and are illustrated by the parable of the Good Samaritan. It is an ethical microcosm of the typical society. The four categories of people that my ethics are concerned with are represented in the parable. First there are the evil men who attack and rob the traveler. Their actions are evil because they caused the traveler suffering for their personal gain. They are also evil because they denied him of his autonomy or freedom. Those are the two basic harms caused by evil men, and it is mostly men who are evildoers. It is the evil my people engaged in for centuries. Important here is not only are their actions evil. The men are evil as well because they chose to be evil, thus they lack the spirituality possessed by morally good people who do not harm. They are worse than disease because disease does not choose to be evil, and for that reason it is not morally evil.

‘The second is the victim of the aggressors’ evil. He represents to two basic consequences of immoral actions. His freedom was denied. He was  going down from Jerusalem to Jericho when attacked. The evil men who attacked him denied him of his freedom to continue his journey. The second consequence was they caused him suffering by stripping him of his clothes, beating him, and leaving him half dead.

‘The third category of the people in the social microcosm of the Good Samaritan parable is represented by two of my people, a priest and a Levite. They are important because they represent the ruling class of my people. I must aid the poor, sick, disable, and ostracized because the religious ruling class and their followers will do nothing for them. They will, of course, stone them to death if they fail to obey the laws of their deity Yahweh. Instead of helping the man, these representatives of Yahweh passed by on the other side of the road. They lacked compassion for a suffering human being. They are not evil, but nor are they good men. They lack the spirituality that can be achieved only by helping those who suffers, those in need of help. Not even causing no suffering achieves the spirituality associated with the highest plane of moral goodness.

‘It is important to recognize that worshiping a deity does not achieve spirituality. Nor does obeying a deity because the deity may be evil as is the deity of my people.’

“‘Excuse me,’ I said to Jesus, ‘but I thought I was the evil one.’”

“‘Satan, how many people have you murdered?’

“‘None that I know of.’”

“‘You are called a tempter, just as you have just tried to tempt me, but I suspect that the purpose of your temptations is to reveal the truth. In the case of Eve, you tempted her in such a way that allowed her and all of humanity to acquire the knowledge of Good and Evil. Had you not tempted her, she would have remained one of God’s unenlightened lackeys instead of being an autonomous thinking woman. You tempted her to acquire what she wanted and needed to be a fully realized human being. And that brings me to the fourth category of the people in the social microcosm of the Good Samaritan parable.’

“‘The Good Samaritan?’ I said.”

“‘Yes. The Samaritan people were not friends of the Jews, so one would not expect one of them to aid the Jewish man left to die in the road. But the Good Samaritan put aside the animosity of his own people, and he put aside the inconvenience to himself that would require aiding the injured man. He did what no Jew would have done to aid a pagan or a Samaritan. He transcended his social conditioning that told him to ignore the suffering of an enemy, as the Jews who ignored the suffering of one of their own because their religion told them so. The Good Samaritan also ignored his concern for himself. He didn’t know whether the robbers were lurking nearby. The road was famous for its banditry. It would have been easier for him to just continue on his way, but the Good Samaritan “took pity on the injured man and went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him.” And at that moment he achieved spirituality because he acted at a plane of goodness that transcends the demands of one’s society and self-concern. He didn’t abandon his ego but transformed it. And by responding to his compassion—which is the source of spirituality—he achieved the highest level of human self-realization, which is to live according to the dictates of human-centered morality, the highest form of which is known as altruism—living not for oneself, not even for one’s people alone, but for the benefit of all human beings.’”

Woof! Then Satan a little puzzled himself said, “I understand the rules of morality of causing no suffering and the higher morality of tending to those who suffer, but rules and spiritualty are not the same thing.”

“‘You are correct, Satan. Some rules are even evil because they cause suffering, such as many of the rules of my people’s religion. The spirituality of the Good Samaritan resides not in rules but in compassion that inspires altruistic morality—the morality of helping people in need—and in his loving compassion for a suffering stranger. There is no greater achievement for humanity than living compassionately. It is something unique, mysterious, and thoroughly good. And it is a treasure possessed by everyone. Thus, the spiritual life is available to all people. Yet it must be realized through caring actions, such as those illustrated by the Good Samaritan. Otherwise, the spiritual potential of a person remains unachieved. The wealth of a rich man cannot buy spirituality. The most powerful men the world has known have less spiritual value than the Good Samaritan if their power was used to benefit themselves or cause other people suffering.’”

Woof! Then Satan said he asked Jesus an astonishing question and got a truly unexpected answer. “So Jesus, is God irrelevant?”

“‘He is. The deity of my people has shown his evil ways over the centuries, so how can he convey spirituality upon his followers. You see, Satan, the spirituality that resides in a person is not some mysterious non-material divine substance that dwells within a person. Spirit is only the animating force of life. In fact, nature religions believe spirit dwells in many aspects of nature. Certain lands are thought to possess a unique spiritual character. That is also true of the seasons. A river or lake is often believed to possess a distinct spiritual aura. My people believe in a single spiritual entity that exists that exists in some no-place outside of nature.’”

“‘Forgive my interruption, Jesus,’ I said, ‘but I am puzzled by the idea of existence of no-place, which seems a contradiction.’”

Woolf! I could see that Christian was also lost, seemingly unable to follow Jesus and Satan’s conversation. Even I with my brain boost was a little lost. The two famous adversaries were apparently not so adversarial. Satan was God’s nemesis but not so with Jesus. He seemed to be intrigued by the man who would become famous once he was killed by his own people. The conversation reminded me of the discussions that occurred at the Science Table at the Pub Potpourri.

“‘There is no place outside of nature,’ said Jesus, ‘because a place requires space, and space exists only within nature. It is assumed by certain nature worshipers that the God exists within nature in the form of an unnatural ghostly substance usually called spirit. My people can’t make up their minds whether their God is somewhere as he was during his encounter with Eve in the Garden of Eden or is a cosmic ghost that is present everywhere at once yet takes up no space, which is why he cannot be detected.’

“‘So, Jesus, you disagree with what your people believe?’”

“‘Truly, I am not interested in such speculations. My interest is how humans can achieve an Earthy paradise by adopting an easily implemented ethical system, which I was explaining with the parable of the Good Samaritan, which can be summed up as cause no suffering and aid those who do suffer.’”

“I told Jesus that I was fascinated by his project to create a paradise here on Earth rather than having people believe that they must die first to live in a paradise among the dead, which I believe is an excuse for doing nothing.”

“‘I agree, Satan,’  said Jesus, ‘and that is why suffering and injustice have continued among my people.’”

“‘Jesus,’ I said, ‘I must ask here and now since I may not have another opportunity to speak with you again, do you believe as I do that the God of your people is evil because it seems to me that his self-centeredness has caused him to deny others their freedom, as he did Eve, and has also caused incredible suffering as when he destroyed cities?’”

“‘That is so, Satan. The God of my people is often associated with spirituality, but he is the antithesis of moral spirituality that I speak of, as are the cruel and oppressive religious overseers of his people. Not all of my people are evil. Many fell in love with the people hated by their God and his enforcers. They married pagans and had children by them. Some of my people celebrated the deities of nature because they knew nature was their true provider. They caused no suffering or denied other people freedom. Yet, they were often punished by their God, who punishes children for the iniquity of their parents, to the third and the fourth generation. That is not justice but cruel narcissistic fanaticism. That is what the God of the people of the Book does and what his followers do. Strangely, it is a religion that encourages living immorally rather than morally and spiritually. As you are a heretic in the eyes of God, I am a heretic to my people because I reject their religion as being immoral. Yet, I am not unique among my people. Many quietly and lovingly rejected the hatred and oppression of the God their people serve.’”

“‘So spirituality and paradise can be achieved without God?’”

“‘Yes. Because of courageous Eve, human beings like me can think morally and do not have to depend on God or a doctrine such as the Book to tell us how to think. I also learned much from my mother Mary and my father Joseph. Both were infused with love for others. It came to them naturally. As I said, the logic is simple. All that is needed is compassion. The religion of my people creates enemies were there were none before. My people created a religion that assumes falsely that people who think differently and live differently yet intend no harm are enemies that should be destroyed. My people are followers of the God of the Book, who is an embodiment of pure masculine aggression unmitigated by the feminine compassion that I received from Eve and my mother Mary. The God of aggressive masculinity bullied Eve and sentenced to death her, and to death Adam and all of humanity, simply because she wanted to be wise rather than ignorant. But she did not die. She lives within us all in the form of moral compassion.’”

“So, Christian, that was my encounter with the Jesus. I was impressed with his concern for humanity and surprised that he and I were alike in our estimation of the evil nature of God.”

“But he was crucified by his own people.”

“Yes, the people devoted to the God Jesus rejected. And God did not save him on the cross because Jesus offered a new religion that did not require God.”

“But he came back to life and he will return,” said Christian.

“Not the man Jesus but the God-man Christ invented by the writers of the New Book.”

“I am sorry, Satan, but the Book says you cannot be trusted and will try to slip me up, so I must put my faith in the book and find out its truth for myself. I must go to where I am told the Lord is expected to return. You do understand? These infirmities possessed me in your own country; for there I sucked them in, and I have groaned under them, been sorry for them, and have obtained pardon of my Prince.”

“Yes ,” said Satan, “my own country. And what country is that? It’s the Earth World! And God hates the Earth as a place of materiality rather than spirituality, a place of that that exists in a fallen state brought about by little curious Eve, a place of nature worshipers, and a place where devils and demons run wild. That is why he once drowned it with water. How ironic that he used water the source of all life to destroy life. The Earth World is a place of wild, free behavior and the Lord hates wild, free behavior. That is why he killed the worshipers of Golden Calif. They acted freely and celebrated an Earth creature that had given them more than the Lord ever did. The Book you follow is all about the Law, the straight and narrow life that only obeys the Book and never acts freely. That is why the creators of the Book accomplished nothing. The shackles of the Book would not allow them to be inquisitive or creative, as were the ancient Greeks who were not shackled by an authoritative deity or religious ideology. Their god Dionysus encouraged freedom of expression balanced by their deity Apollo who embodied order, reason, and form. Having many gods, the Greeks avoided living under the authoritarianism of a single deity. And, of course, all their gods were of the Earth. Yes, I abandoned the God of the Book because I am the opposite of him because I represent the Earth World and reason and freedom. And my job is to use both reason and freedom to break the shackles of the Book that make humans slaves who hate the Earth World and seek death rather than life.”

“Woof! Scary ugly Satan is a wise creature because what he says describes what happened to Julian when the Book took over his life and turned him into Christian. And what were the infirmities that Christian complains about having when he was Julian? His love for his family? His love for his community? His love of life in the Earth World? According to the Book these are infirmities because they focus on the Earthly way of life and the wonders of nature rather than on a terrifying deity and a way of life based on fantasy reality promoted by the Book created by a tribe of desert dwellers in order to escape from the harsh truth of who they were.

Satan regarded me and then turned to Christian. “Christian, it seems that you have a dog who possesses wisdom you lack. I wonder how so?”